by Michelle Powell
Nowadays when it comes to women’s wellbeing there seems to be so much confusion. I call this the ‘3Cs effect’.
So much Contradicting and Controversial information out there it creates inner Conflict as to what to believe. So where do we start when it comes to women’s wellbeing?
One of my foundation ‘puzzle pieces’ when working with women is what I call ‘Being true to yourself’. This is an extremely important part of your wellbeing, for I truly believe the terms ‘right and wrong’ are different for each individual. Just like everybody’s organs are unique (the size, colour, shape and location are as individual as your thumb print), so too are our goals, desires, wants and needs. Therefore no cookie cutter approach to women’s wellbeing will work; one size does not fit all.
Why is this so important? When you make any decisions in your lives around relationships, career, food choices, exercise choices and more, you need to know what you really value so that you can make the correct choices for yourself and your family.
So where do you begin? How do you remain true to who you really are? Even more importantly, how do you discover the answer to that question in the first place?!
Here are some of my top tips to begin establishing who you are:
- Core values – by creating core values and being very honest and open about what you do and don’t stand for, gives you a blueprint for every decision you have to make in your life, from career paths to what you eat for tea tonight. I do this with my clients in two ways. Firstly I ask them approximately 40 questions to build a starting point. We write these out (using the logical and analytical side of your brain). Secondly we draw them (using your creative and expressive side of your brain). Once you have completed your first set of core values you have your baseline to continue to build on each and every year. We are constantly learning, growing and evolving as women, therefore it is important to update these. Who you are today will be a completely different woman to who you are in one years’ time.
- Being your authentic self, who are you really? Do you change who you are when you are around different groups of people? Here’s a question to really answer that honestly. If I was to meet you in your workplace and see how you act, talk and behave and then take you out for some champagne would you be the same woman, or would your personality be wildly different to your professional self? This can be a tricky question to answer sometimes because it isn’t always appropriate, but I am talking about the majority of the time, not the exceptions. For example when I am delivering a keynote speech I am exactly the same woman, I just might swear a little less on stage.
- What are your goals/dreams/experiences you want to have in life? – These are the important things. We tend to tell ourselves that we don’t deserve it, there isn’t enough time or money to go after our dreams. This is just the story we are telling ourselves. Have you written down what you want to experience, be, have or do in life? If you haven’t now is a great time to start.
- What are you afraid of? – Not going for our dreams gives us an insight into our psyche, I have met plenty of women who actually know what their dreams are but they are scared to do them in case:
- People judge them for it.
- They don’t think they deserve to have it.
- What will they do once that dream is realised…they’ll need to get a new dream!
- What will people think of them, will they be supported?
The list goes on. The only person you hurt in this is yourself, so take a moment and think if it was your daughter, sister or best friend and they were afraid to go after their dreams, what would you say to them? You would be supportive 110% so take your own advice and support yourself too!
- Loving your body and not neglecting yourself – I am combining these two because our body image problems can affect how we look after ourselves. Neglect can be physical, emotional, nutritional and spiritual. Whether that is by our thoughts, the foods we eat, the way we do or don’t move or just how we value everyone as more important than we are. Just remember that there is nobody on the planet like you and while you might be at war with your body image, some other woman might be looking at you wishing that she had your legs, or killer smile, or shining eyes.
We nurture everyone else, yet tend to neglect ourselves and the fact we too need nurturing. Love and accept yourself as you are. If you need to make changes that’s ok, however it should come from a place of loving yourself well, not bashing yourself into submission.
I am here to remind you that no dream is silly. That you deserve to live the life that you have always dreamt of, but you need to be who you really are. The people you hurt by not being yourself is actually greater than just you. What are you teaching your children? How does this affect your relationship with your partner and so on.
You are a once off, one of a kind, limited edition, never again to be repeated amazing woman! Please never be anything other than her, ‘flaws’ and all!