{"id":10017,"date":"2026-06-13T14:41:12","date_gmt":"2026-06-13T04:41:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/?p=10017"},"modified":"2026-04-25T14:41:37","modified_gmt":"2026-04-25T04:41:37","slug":"talking-to-kids-about-war-and-tragedy-guide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/talking-to-kids-about-war-and-tragedy-guide\/","title":{"rendered":"Big Questions, Little Ears: How to Talk to Your Kids About Scary World Events"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Selina Chapman \u2013 psychologist at The Hearts and Mind Collective<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

With recent and current local and global conflict, it can be difficult or impossible to shield our children from hearing about war, conflict and local tragedies. We may not be prepared or know how to navigate the questions our children or young people may be asking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pretending the big uncomfortable questions don\u2019t exist can be confusing and distressing for children and our reactions and impressions to any event has as much if not more of an impact on children than the information they are hearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr Catriona Davis\u2013McCabe, former president of the Australian Psychological Society (APS)<\/strong>, recommends finding out what our children are aware of first. What they understand in their own words at their age and stage or development.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With any big questions, we need to keep answers simple and in a language at their level. It is also important to answer their questions that have been asked rather than expanding on more information, particularly for children or young people that need additional supports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is very common for children to keep asking the same questions repeatedly. It is how their brains are processing complex information. Some questions may be inappropriate in words, or timing if we are expecting an adult understanding. Children process information in their own way and in their own time. If we can keep calm and non\u2013judgemental, we can encourage open communication and validation of what they are experiencing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr Davis\u2013McCabe encourages parents and carers to keep checking in with their children. Let them know that they are in a supportive environment to talk about their thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Play is a great way to connect with children and have a fun and safe space to freely express themselves, whether its drawing, using toys or playing a pretend game. Child\u2013led play allows for children to invite their safe adults into their world and take the lead without direction from others. This is highly encouraged for all adult\/child connections, especially to build and reinforce secure attachments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As much as professionals can recommend best strategies for family interactions and parenting support, we do understand that outside the therapy rooms, life is messy, chaotic and unpredictable at times. A great example of real life versus best practice is when it comes to young people and social media, particularly around \u201cfake news\u201d, social influencers, needing to source correct information and limit algorithms that feed into doom scrolling and the rabbit holes they lead users into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So how can we protect our children from a stream of distressing media content?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ideally as parents, we have control over devices and content. Even with the social media ban, platforms exist to circumvent the safeguards in place designed to protect young people online. This is where open communication between family members is invaluable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is encouraged for children to feel they can talk to their trusted adults at any age about anything on their minds. Regular connection opportunities throughout the day and week can help build and maintain relationships, such as eating dinner together or having screen free family time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As much as possible, it is recommended to sit with your child and examine information and their sources for transparency and accuracy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Signs to look out for<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are important signs to look out for if you are concerned about the wellbeing of your child. Dr Davis\u2013McCabe recommends if you notice changes in sleep patterns and quality of sleep, appetite, mood, or behaviours such as wanting to stay close or clinging instead of typical independent behaviour are some indications something is out of the ordinary and warrants further exploration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cI am not what happened to me; I am what I choose to become.\u201d \u2013 Carl Jung<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t have to have all the answers to questions such as \u201cwhy do people do bad things?\u201d. Dr Davis\u2013McCabe suggests focusing on how people are helping; our first responders are trained for these situations and there are good people in the world. She says, \u201ctalking about helpers assuages helplessness\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to the APS<\/strong>, keep routines predictable and reassuring, foster hope and focus on how to make the world a safe and beautiful place in which to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling hopeless or helpless are key factors that can contribute towards low coping skills. Actions that can assist resilience and wellbeing are focussed on what we can do. We can be proactive and community minded, such as supporting groups practically with donations, attending fundraising events and checking in with members of our beautiful Coastie community that may be more impacted that ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As parents and carers, our wellbeing is also important. We need to check in with ourselves and each other and talk with supports as much as we need to. Please reach out to mental health professionals, schools and community supports. We are there to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take Care, Selina<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Selina Chapman is a psychologist at The Hearts and Mind Collective in North Gosford. She works with individuals of all ages seeking empowerment and support. Selina says, \u201cSeeking support for mental health is about maintaining emotional and mental wellbeing as well as having extra help as and when we need it\u201d.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Big Questions, Little Ears: How to Talk to Your Kids About Scary World Events<\/a><\/blockquote>