{"id":3643,"date":"2022-12-01T03:35:00","date_gmt":"2022-11-30T16:35:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/?p=3643"},"modified":"2023-09-07T23:46:30","modified_gmt":"2023-09-07T13:46:30","slug":"building-emotional-resilience-distress-tolerance-central-coast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/building-emotional-resilience-distress-tolerance-central-coast\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Emotional Resilience: Why Increasing Distress Tolerance is the Key to Mental Wellness"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Alexandra Wilson (AMHSW; CSW; MAASW; BSW Usyd)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people reach out for mental health support, they\u2019re often looking for ways to reduce or eliminate unpleasant emotional states. Fear, anxiety, depression, sadness, hopelessness\u2026 all these emotions are unpleasant!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We view the distress as a problem to solve, and often a mental health professional or therapist as a person who can solve it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, removal of unpleasant emotions is not possible. And actually, it\u2019s not even desirable! The secret to improving mental health is actually increasing our tolerance of distress, rather than removing it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s a metaphor that describes this concept well; Imagine you have a sink full of water. You take 5 drops of red food colouring and you drop them into the sink of water. The water would turn a noticeable shade of pink, right? Now imagine a lake full of water. Place the same 5 drops of red food colouring into the lake\u2026. Is it noticeable? Of course not!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What we do in many kinds of therapy, and in particular dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), is work to increase capacity to unpleasant emotions. We help people grow their capacity to deal with distress, rather than removing the distress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unpleasant emotions serve a very important purpose for us individually and from an evolutionary standpoint. Take fear for example, we need fear to alert us when there is danger and prompts us to protect ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Likewise, emotional pain is designed to push us towards creating necessary change. Think about the pain that drives us to end a toxic relationship; or the pain that leads to giving up an addictive substance. This experience of pain is trying to tell us something important, that we need to make some changes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So not only can we not get rid of distress \u2013 we need distress to help us grow and change in positive ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said, it is not always wise to act on emotions. We need to build wisdom to be able to see when an emotion is helpful and when it may not be and learn skilful responses to both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you, or someone you care about is struggling with distress, consider ways to increase tolerance, rather than trying to push it away. Attempts to avoid distress, no matter the cost, are often problematic and can become chronic problem behaviours over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skilful distraction can help, but we need to be mindful not to distract all the time but use sparingly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skills to change body chemistry help us switch out of fight\/ flight mode, and can be especially helpful in changing problematic behaviours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ways to increase distress tolerance<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Observe and describe skills<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When feeling distress, try to pause, notice and name what you are feeling. Research shows people who can name emotions are much better at regulating emotions. Lots of people struggle with this, so get help with this from a mental health professional if needed.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Identify avoidance behaviours<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

See if you can identify any problem behaviours you engage in to try to get rid of distress. Common behaviours include drug and alcohol use; angry outbursts; isolation\/ withdrawal; self harm. These behaviours make us feel better in the short term, but they actually reduce our tolerance to distress in the long term, making life more difficult.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Challenge your fears about distress<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s very common for us to hold ideas\/ myths about distress that push us towards avoidance behaviours. Beliefs such as, \u2018I can\u2019t cope with feeling bad\u2019; or \u2018If I don\u2019t get rid of this feeling it will overwhelm me\u2019, are very common.
But actually, emotions are just a temporary felt experience, and they always pass eventually. If we become less fearful about distress, we can build up our tolerance to it.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Use skilful distraction or skills to change body chemistry<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When distress is very high we can use some specific skills to help get through the really hard times. These are times when we are feeling overwhelmed and we are unable to access the rational parts of our brain!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Want to learn more? Here are some resources to build distress tolerance.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

DBT 101<\/strong>
This is an online, self\u2013paced program that will introduce you to distress tolerance concepts and skills. Based on dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), you\u2019ll learn all about distress tolerance and skills to get through times of very high distress.
Suitable for ages 13 and over. ($97)
https:\/\/www.mindfulrecovery.com.au\/about-6<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to Survive an Emotional Crisis (ebook)
<\/strong>This ebook is a quick guide to practical skills to get through times of very high distress, including skills to change body chemistry. Great for adults, teens and families. ($18.70).
https:\/\/www.mindfulrecovery.com.au\/product-page\/how-to-survive-an-emotional-crisis<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mental Health Access Line (Central Coast): 1800 011 511 Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mindful Recovery Services: www.mindfulrecovery.com.au<\/a> or (02) 4660 0100<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alexandra (Alex) Wilson<\/strong> holds a Bachelor of Social Work from the University of Sydney (2003) and is the owner of Mindful Recovery Services. Mindful Recovery Services is a private practice providing psychological treatment and support for adolescents and adults. Alex is passionate about dispelling myths about mental illness,and is highly skilled in dialectical behavioural therapy. She is an experienced public speaker and provides consultation to other professionals on managing difficult behaviours in teens. Alex lives on the NSW Central Coast with her partner, 2 young boys, and a cheeky puppy named Axel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Alexandra Wilson (AMHSW; CSW; MAASW; BSW Usyd) When people reach out for mental health support, they\u2019re often looking for ways to reduce or eliminate unpleasant emotional states. Fear, anxiety,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3646,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","sync_status":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","castos_file_data":"","podmotor_file_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[121,116],"series":[170],"class_list":["post-3643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-wellbeing","tag-alexandra-wilson","tag-article","series-on-the-coast-families"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/10\/distress-tolerance.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/feed\/podcast\/on-the-coast-families","embedCode":"

Building Emotional Resilience: Why Increasing Distress Tolerance is the Key to Mental Wellness<\/a><\/blockquote>