{"id":3877,"date":"2023-02-01T06:34:00","date_gmt":"2023-01-31T19:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/?p=3877"},"modified":"2023-09-07T23:32:05","modified_gmt":"2023-09-07T13:32:05","slug":"postpartum-body-self-love-truce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/postpartum-body-self-love-truce\/","title":{"rendered":"Re-Love Your Postpartum Body: A Mother’s Truce with Herself"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Cathy Spooner<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your body is tired, weak and no longer in the same form as it used to be. It doesn\u2019t move the same, feel the same, look the same, love the same. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nurturing and birthing your babies changed your physical body but also your perceptions of your body. It shone a light on your insecurities and then gave you some more to deal with. The home that so beautifully nurtured your babies, suddenly doesn\u2019t feel like home to you anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve spent far too many years in my life worrying about my appearance. I remember being self\u2013conscious about my body throughout all stages of my life, my first memory of this begun when I was just 10 years old. Before we had kids I loved exercise and eating well and thrived on feeling good. But to say I had a healthy relationship with my body couldn\u2019t be further from the truth. Sure, I had days when I loved what I saw in the mirror and I felt confident and good about myself. But most days, despite how I actually looked I would find something to pick at. Something wasn\u2019t perfect enough, I\u2019d be happier if my legs were thinner or if I just lost a little weight around my bum. I walked into my first pregnancy like we all do\u2026 with some emotional body baggage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve spent years yo\u2013yoing between having confidence no matter what my body looked like, to feeling so depressed and down about it I binge eat and literally give in. A vicious cycle, from one high to the next low in a heartbeat. I\u2019ve envied my husband for his ability to train, feel strong or just capable of doing anything he likes and not be battling birth recoveries, breastfeeding, time constraints, emotional highs and lows and severe exhaustion. I\u2019ve tried countless different routines \u2013 getting up early, training with the kids (this was not much fun), walking at night\u2026 all somehow with no lasting success. And then comes in the guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But here\u2019s the issue\u2026 that mean, judgemental, paranoid and competitive voice in our head that will tell us anything other than the true value and worth of our bodies \u2013 it\u2019s a loud and unrelenting voice. It can be hard to quell in the midst of mummy land when there is very little time for self reflection and self love. We all have this voice and we all pay more attention to it that it deserves. It\u2019s much easier for us to make excuses, to listen to that voice and deny what we so rightfully deserve \u2013 to be loved! When in reality we should be making a truce with ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A truce that says we will stop fighting with ourselves, about never feeling good enough. That we will learn to appreciate our body and the absolutely inspiring and incredible journey it has been on in child bearing. That we will forgive ourselves when we fall into our old traps of binge eating or calorie cutting, not exercising and feeding the negative thoughts with negative behaviours. But most of all, this truce means that we will be understanding. We will understand that our bodies have changed since having children and that it\u2019s normal to struggle with the balance of making things happen post kids. We will understand that true beauty comes from within and that our worth is not measured by our bodies or comparisons to social media and celebrities. We will understand that now, everything we say, do and believe is being modelled for our children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But this truce won\u2019t come easily. There is an idea that just because we should love our bodies because they gave us our amazing babies, that its easy. That couldn\u2019t be further from the truth. Yes I am so grateful to my amazing body for nurturing and birthing my babies, yes I am in awe of what this body has done, but no that doesn\u2019t mean all the other experiences I have had disappear. It doesn\u2019t stop the voice in my head that tells me I\u2019m not enough because of how I look. This is a deep current for many women, and saying we should simply love our bodies because they gave us our children doesn\u2019t work. It\u2019s not a switch you turn on or off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Body image, self awareness and self love are a deeply intricate dance between any given moment, our past experiences, the words we have heard and the images we see. It\u2019s not simple at all, it\u2019s ridiculously complex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is a process. It takes time. This truce we want to so desperately make with our bodies, requires us to be prepared that we will fall in and out of love with our physical bodies every single day. But slowly, the more we love our inner selves, the more we love our outer selves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t let that voice in your head tell you are unworthy. Don\u2019t compare yourself to your old self or even worse, to others. Don\u2019t spend another moment wasting your time stuck in a negative cycle. Invest in re\u2013loving yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Re\u2013loving yourself takes work. Take moments to compliment yourself instead of berating yourself. Wear clothes that make you feel good, not just what is convenient. Do your hair or wear the fancy special occasion underwear. Move your body in a way that feels good with no expectation on how many calories you are burning. Look in the mirror and tell yourself one thing every day that is beautiful and wonderful about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From this moment on I make a truce with my body. Every day I will remind myself that we are on the same team and there is no longer any space for self sabotage. I will be forgiving when I fall into the trap of self judgement and comparison. I will be appreciative of the beautiful body that carried my babies. I will always look upon myself with respect and admiration. This is my truce and I will work on this each and every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cathy Spooner <\/strong>is a Motherhood and Self\u2013Embodiment Coach and Author who supports women to reconnect with their true self after becoming a mother. She offers 1:1 support, group programs, online courses and her book Conscious Motherhood is available online where all good books are sold. Find out more: www.cathyspooner.com.au Instagram @cathyspooner_author<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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Re-Love Your Postpartum Body: A Mother’s Truce with Herself<\/a><\/blockquote>