{"id":7623,"date":"2024-06-01T06:39:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-31T20:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/?p=7623"},"modified":"2024-04-07T23:41:59","modified_gmt":"2024-04-07T13:41:59","slug":"central-coast-communication-with-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/central-coast-communication-with-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"The Secret to Raising Confident Kids? Talk to Them! How to Build Strong Communication (Central Coast Mums)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

by cathy spooner<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Building strong communication between you and your child now is one of the most important things you can do to foster an honest and strong relationship as they go through adolescence and into adulthood. Many parents find themselves struggling to communicate and connect with their children for many reasons; one of which is that we haven\u2019t learnt this skillset ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t know about you all, but I\u2019m an eighties baby (showing my age here!) We grew up in a very different time for many reasons. One difference I\u2019m noticing as we raise our own children, is emotional awareness and communication skills were not ingrained in me as a child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s no fault to our parents, we have awareness and access to so much information now that it enables us to explore these avenues and educate ourselves as parents. I\u2019m also a firm believer that all parents, us included, do the best with the tools we have. But if I look at my childhood, and perhaps much like yours, there were some key themes I remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feelings were often brushed off so children would be stronger and resilient. There was a clear hierarchy, parents above children and a belief that our parents never thought, felt, experienced anything that we did. There was less honesty and transparency which didn\u2019t foster openness and connection between parent and child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Raising children now feels hard, I\u2019m hyper aware of how fast they grow up and how I\u2019m on the cusp of the teenage years and slowly letting them go. I\u2019m often reflecting on what is important \u2013 and communication with our kids always seem to be right up there on my list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want our children to know we also made mistakes. We have failed. We have broken the rules. We have felt lost and confused and regretful at times. This transparency allows them to see us as human and be likely to confide in us and come to us when they need to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I want them to know that no matter what, all feelings are valid and important. We may have been raised in homes where children were seen and not heard. Big emotions weren\u2019t tolerated as much and if we did, we may have been told to toughen up. Perhaps especially the boys. When our kids get overwhelmed and have emotional outbursts, we can feel triggered by that. We can play out a similar story to what we experienced, and we can feel emotionally overwhelmed ourselves because that little girl or boy within also still hasn\u2019t been heard for all of their big feelings. This is why we often long for connection and trust with our children and at the same time, aren\u2019t always sure how to foster this without having had a strong example ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wish for our children is that they understand what clear and healthy communication looks like. I hope they know that no matter how big the problem is, no matter how much they think they might have messed up, that they know they can come to us, anytime. During every conversation with my kids I am so mindful of the language I use and how I conduct myself, I speak to them as they are a whole being. I genuinely don\u2019t believe in the parental hierarchy system, I believe they are their own incredible little beings, separate to us and our stories and expectations. Having equal respect in a parent\/child relationship is key to fostering healthy communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some foundational approaches to building trust and creating a safe space for communication between you and your child:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Encourage two\u2013way communication:<\/strong> Communication by definition is a two\u2013way street. Allow them to express themselves freely while actively listening to what they say. You will build trust with them in this process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Model healthy communication: <\/strong>Children will learn from their environment, so lead by example and show them, whether that is with your partner, friends, the children, and their siblings, they will be watching and absorbing all of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Create a safe environment to share:<\/strong> Ensure you limit your reactions, judgements and watch the language and tone when you respond. If they share something and don\u2019t feel safe in that they may shut off and not feel comfortable to do so again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Normalise feelings:<\/strong> Don\u2019t shut down their feelings, even when it feels triggering and inconvenient. The storm passes sooner when we allow them to feel. Say things like \u201cI can see you\u2019re feeling\u2026 or I am right here for you\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carve out quality time:<\/strong> We often don\u2019t feel like sharing and expressing ourselves when it\u2019s rushed and disconnected. Create quiet, intentional space to ask your children how they are and let them lead the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start this pathway of open communication as early as you can, build trust, normalise your own feelings and model to them how to express feelings and boundaries to others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One thing I know for sure, is that the world our children are growing up in is doing everything in its power to disconnect us from the important relationships we have. This can feel overwhelming at times, but we can make small changes in our approach, the language we use and shifting our perspective from the outdated version we were raised under to one that is focused on transparency, creating a supportive environment, and building meaningful connections with our children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cathy Spooner is a Women\u2019s Counsellor, Motherhood and Self-Embodiment Coach, Author and mother to three children. Cathy supports mothers as they navigate this beautiful madness of motherhood. She offers individual and group immersions. Her book Conscious Motherhood is available online where all good books are sold. For more info visit @cathyspooner_<\/a> or www.cathyspooner.com.au<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by cathy spooner Building strong communication between you and your child now is one of the most important things you can do to foster an honest and strong relationship as…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7625,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","sync_status":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","castos_file_data":"","podmotor_file_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[113,40],"tags":[116,127],"series":[170],"class_list":["post-7623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-families","category-parenting","tag-article","tag-cathy-spooner","series-on-the-coast-families"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/04\/medium-shot-mother-daughter-having-fun.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/feed\/podcast\/on-the-coast-families","embedCode":"

The Secret to Raising Confident Kids? Talk to Them! How to Build Strong Communication (Central Coast Mums)<\/a><\/blockquote>