{"id":7647,"date":"2024-06-01T06:40:00","date_gmt":"2024-05-31T20:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/?p=7647"},"modified":"2024-04-08T00:45:56","modified_gmt":"2024-04-07T14:45:56","slug":"central-coast-mom-self-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/central-coast-mom-self-care\/","title":{"rendered":"You&#8217;re Not Wonder Woman: Why Self-Care Isn&#8217;t a Luxury, It&#8217;s a Necessity"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" style=\"text-transform:capitalize\"><strong>by alita blanchard, parent coach<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I know the idea of putting yourself first and making time to care for your needs brings up big feelings. You may read the term \u201cself\u2013care\u201d and scoff \u201cyeah right\u2026how can I possibly fit that in\u201d or what I often hear is \u201cit just feels like another thing to add to the list\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And yet I want to challenge you on these thought patterns and stories because the idea that self\u2013care isn\u2019t important or that it\u2019s only available to mothers who have help\/support\/money, leads to mothers who are chronically exhausted, depleted, short tempered and, often, mother burnout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Radical self\u2013care<\/strong><br>Radical self\u2013care is about taking responsibility of getting your own needs met first before you attempt to take care of others (or at least at the same time). This gives you more capacity to meet the mammoth daily tasks \u2013 physically and emotionally \u2013 in motherhood, relationships and your community.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Why we need self\u2013care<br>Self\u2013care helps to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>De\u2013stress your body \u2013 lower your stress hormones<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Help ease anxiety<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Improve your concentration<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Build your self\u2013awareness muscle<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Improve problem solving skills<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Strengthen your relationships<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Models self\u2013care to your children so they know how to do it for themselves \u2013 this alone should be reason enough to start now.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Have a self\u2013compassion practice<\/strong><br>We all make mistakes and do things we regret. Self compassion is a powerful antidote to guilt and shame. Acknowledge that you are suffering. Practice feeling it in your body. Put your hand on your heart, breathe and say \u201cI am enough\u201d. Repeat. And find a short Loving Kindness meditation (Insight Timer or YouTube).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Honour your menstrual cycle<\/strong><br>We have been conditioned through marketing to believe we should keep going even though we are on our monthly cycle\/period. Women\u2019s wellness wisdom knows that our monthly cycle is an opportunity to rest and go within. While we are not able to cancel everything, do give yourself permission to slow down and rest on the 2\u20133 heavy days of your bleed. Ask someone to take the kids after school. Practice asking for help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Find someone to speak your truth to: Practice being vulnerable<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>I am a big advocate for psychologists\/therapists when budget allows. Get a mental health plan from your doctor if you are feeling anxious, consistent rage or depressed. There is no shame in seeking mental wellness<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Listening time \u2013 find a friend that is willing to hold space with no judgment, no advice and confidentiality<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Women\u2019s circles \u2013 a space to speak truth, be heard, be witnessed and to feel healing. (I hold Mama Circles on the Central Coast \u2013 search Alita Blanchard and you\u2019ll find me).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dance and play<\/strong><br>As adults we can easily take life too seriously. And yet the greatest healing for both children and adults alike comes from play and joy and movement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Make a playlist on Spotify. Dance with your kids. Dance alone. Play silly games. Charades. Chase. Challenges. Rumbling. Competitions. If you have to, fake it till you make it. Many adults feel shame come up when they play. Many of us as children were told to \u201cstop being silly\u201d. And so we did. Shame built. heal that wound. be silly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Gratitude and affirmations<\/strong><br>Do it for yourself and model it to your children. I do this a few times a week in the car on the way to school. The boys sometimes ignore me but I know it\u2019s accessing their subconscious. And after a tough morning, it can really bring me back to some calm.<br>\u201cI am grateful for\u2026..\u201d<br>\u201cI am \u2013 present\/calm\/unique\/resilient\/determined \/loving \/kind\/brave\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Find some time for creativity just for fun<br><\/strong>Paint. Garden. Bake. Colour. Draw. Sing. Write. Journal. Make mandalas in the sand. Try a local class, book it and actually go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Hot drink and hold it in two hands<\/strong><br>Make your favourite hot drink and sit outside in the sunshine or under a tree, no book, no phone, just soak in the present moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>And finally \u2013 give yourself grace<\/strong><br>We all mess up. We all hit our edges and do or say something we regret with our child. Shame or blame perhaps. Yell and rage. Punish. Whatever is a part of your own childhood, will often come<br>up in your own parenting when your cup has not been filled. Use these moments to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Practice self forgiveness<\/strong> \u2013 you are human. We are messy. We all carry wounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Reconnect and repair<\/strong> \u2013 if you yelled, raged, shamed etc, take some time out to breathe and calm your nervous system. Then reconnect with your child. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. Please forgive me. I wasn\u2019t caring for myself well and I lost my temper. Can we start again? I love you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Use this moment <\/strong>\u2013 as a reminder to give yourself radical self\u2013care. What are your unmet needs? What do you need in this moment? How can you do that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Alita Blanchard \u2013 The Aware Mama Based on the NSW Central Coast, Alita is a mother of 4 boys and is a trauma informed Parent Coach, Rites of Passage facilitator, Holistic Counseller (training) and Somatic Emotional Release practitioner. She provides online parenting support and education 1:1, group programs and occasional in person events in NSW.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by alita blanchard, parent coach I know the idea of putting yourself first and making time to care for your needs brings up big feelings. You may read the term&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7648,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","sync_status":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","castos_file_data":"","podmotor_file_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[107,116],"series":[170],"class_list":["post-7647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-wellbeing","tag-alita-blanchard","tag-article","series-on-the-coast-families"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/04\/latin-woman-sunset-breathing-fresh-air-raising-arms.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/feed\/podcast\/on-the-coast-families","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"owr54yQ0uR\"><a href=\"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/central-coast-mom-self-care\/\">You&#8217;re Not Wonder Woman: Why Self-Care Isn&#8217;t a Luxury, It&#8217;s a Necessity<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastfamilies\/central-coast-mom-self-care\/embed\/#?secret=owr54yQ0uR\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;You&#8217;re Not Wonder Woman: Why Self-Care Isn&#8217;t a Luxury, It&#8217;s a Necessity&#8221; &#8212; On The Coast Families\" data-secret=\"owr54yQ0uR\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! 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