{"id":2131,"date":"2021-12-01T10:36:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-30T23:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastover55\/?p=2131"},"modified":"2023-09-04T22:07:05","modified_gmt":"2023-09-04T12:07:05","slug":"coping-grief-holiday-season-emotions-meaning-doctor-central-coast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastover55\/coping-grief-holiday-season-emotions-meaning-doctor-central-coast\/","title":{"rendered":"Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season: Navigating Emotions and Finding Meaning"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>By Dr Elly Warren \u2013 FRACGP<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! As our favourite carols waft through re\u2013opened shopping malls post lock down, our heads spin with excitement, anticipation, joy, generosity, nostalgia, and contentment. The pandemic has taken a toll though this year and many of us may also be experiencing other emotions such as stress, exhaustion, disappointment, apprehension, and apathy, to name a few.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A tendency towards overindulgence in spending, eating, drinking and festivities can increase the stress around the holiday season. We\u2019ve all been deprived of social connections during the pandemic and should go easy on ourselves when venturing back out into the world. This will be even more complicated if you are dealing with loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With so much focus on family and friends, this time of year is very challenging if you\u2019ve experienced the death of a loved one. Christmas and other significant anniversaries can trigger grief and intensify the uncertainty, anger, sadness and frustration that comes with losing someone you love. What is socially expected to be a fun holiday season, can become a world of loneliness, guilt, fear, panic, yearning and pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is sometimes an expectation that grief should be put aside during the festive period, that we may be spoiling it for everyone else if we let people know how we really feel. It may be hard for others who haven\u2019t experienced the death of a loved one to understand the huge emotions that threaten to boil over as we try to put on a brave face. The pressure of playing happy families can be extremely distressing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how do you get through it all? Christmas and other important cultural celebrations will never be the same after someone close to you dies. While you can\u2019t rush the grieving process, there are things you can do to make the holiday period easier. You may need to challenge your or your family\u2019s idea of the \u2018perfect Christmas\u2019 and make sure the experience is meaningful and manageable for you. For some, it may mean not celebrating at all. Acknowledge that the holidays will be different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Tips for coping with grief over the holiday season<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Try and spend time with people who are supportive of you.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Decide which traditions you want to keep and those you want to change. Maybe create a new tradition in memory of your loved one.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Light a special candle in their memory.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Play your loved one\u2019s favourite music.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Consider expressing your feelings in a creative way, such as artwork or writing.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Consider doing something you would not usually do in memory of the deceased. Make a donation in their name, plant a tree or perhaps do some volunteer work.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fill a stocking with memories of your loved one and allow others to contribute.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Write a letter or a card to the person who has died, don\u2019t be concerned if you want to talk out loud to them\u2026 do it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Visit the graveside or a special location to sit and remember. Lay a wreath, flowers or a meaningful item for them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Share your memories with someone else, the photos and the stories. Don\u2019t be afraid to laugh as you remember some of the good times.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do something that makes you feel good. It may be as simple as reading a magazine, going for a walk, listening to music, fishing, getting a massage or enjoying a cup of coffee at your favourite cafe.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Plan your time so that you are under as little stress as possible. Plan how to keep things simple and gentle.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ask for some assistance with preparations including going shopping, preparing gifts and meals.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Say YES to people who want to help and may offer their support. Take them up on their offers.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You might want to write a journal, making a note of what worked and what did not.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be honest. Tell people what you do and do not want to do for the holidays.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Listen to yourself, trust yourself, communicate with your family, and do what works for you.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ensure some quiet time. It\u2019s OK to miss events if you don\u2019t feel up to going. Take time out when you need it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Get at least 20 minutes of sunlight and fresh air every day.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Exercise most days of the week for at least 30 minutes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Prioritise sleep and minimise alcohol.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Remember that it\u2019s OK to be happy during the festive season. Enjoying the holidays does not diminish how much you love and miss the person who isn\u2019t here.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If you are finding it difficult to manage on a day\u2013to\u2013day basis, see your friendly GP, who can help link you in with a counsellor or psychologist.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Helping someone who is grieving<\/strong><br>Be a good listener \u2013 Grieving people need to talk about their loss and acknowledge that they have been through a difficult experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be a shoulder to cry on \u2013 Allow the person to cry with you if they want to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be in touch with them \u2013 Visit the person or call them. Let them know you\u2019ve been thinking of them. Send an SMS, letter or email, remember their special days like birthdays and anniversaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be a friend \u2013 Often just being there is all that is needed to support someone who is grieving. Everyone\u2019s journey through grief is different and can last a long or short time. Don\u2019t be afraid to speak up if you think your friend needs help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be flexible \u2013 Be understanding and supportive if someone wants to do things differently this holiday season. Some people find strength in long established traditions while others may choose to avoid customs of the past and do something new.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Be helpful \u2013 Offer to help with specific activities such as collecting groceries, preparing meals, mowing the lawn, or delivering presents. Try not to saying \u2018let me know if I can do anything.\u2019 It\u2019s hard enough for the grieving person to accept help and far too hard for them to think of an actual task to delegate to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Check in after the holidays \u2013 The festive season is difficult when you\u2019re grieving, but the post holiday period can be just as tough when everyone else goes back to their usual lives. The grieving person will be adjusting to their new life year round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">Sources: NALAG, National Association for Loss and Grief NSW, Palliative Care Australia.<br>24\/7 National Crisis Support Lines Suicide Call Back Service:<br>1300 659 467<br>Lifeline: 13 11 14<br>Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">Useful websites and resources:<br><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nalag.org.au\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">www.nalag.org.au<\/a><br><a href=\"http:\/\/www.grief.org.au\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">www.grief.org.au<\/a><br><a href=\"http:\/\/www.mygriefassist.com.au\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">www.mygriefassist.com.au<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">For support helping kids and young people through grief, visit the National Centre for Childhood Grief at<br><a href=\"http:\/\/www.childhoodgrief.org.au\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">www.childhoodgrief.org.au<\/a> or<br>Good Grief at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.goodgrief.org.au\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">www.goodgrief.org.au<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Elly <\/strong>enjoys being a GP at Your Family Doctors at Erina and Yerin Eleanor Duncan Aboriginal Health Centre. She cycles huge distances to raise money for cancer research, support and prevention. Check out her \u2018What should I know about cancer?\u2019 series on Instagram @drelly_warren and \u2018Dr Elly\u2019s Tour de Cure adventures\u2019 on Facebook @drellystdc. Her newest project, Alpine Everesting, will take her to Bright, Victoria in Jan 2022, where she will ride 500km in 36 hours to improve cancer outcomes for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. You can donate at www.alpineeveresting.com.au<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"By Dr Elly Warren \u2013 FRACGP Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! As our favourite carols waft through re\u2013opened shopping malls post lock down, our heads spin with&hellip;","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2132,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[75,74],"series":[115],"class_list":["post-2131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-wellbeing","tag-article","tag-dr-elly-warren","series-coffee-with-a-coastie"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastover55\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2021\/11\/one-alone-sad-senior-mature-man-sitting-sofa-home-celebrating-christmas-day-alone-with-anyone-people-upset-adult-feeling-wrong.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastover55\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"","player_link":"","audio_player":false,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"dark","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastover55\/feed\/podcast\/coffee-with-a-coastie","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"TY0FqK711g\"><a href=\"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastover55\/coping-grief-holiday-season-emotions-meaning-doctor-central-coast\/\">Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season: Navigating Emotions and Finding Meaning<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/onthecoastpublications.com.au\/onthecoastover55\/coping-grief-holiday-season-emotions-meaning-doctor-central-coast\/embed\/#?secret=TY0FqK711g\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Coping with Grief During the Holiday Season: Navigating Emotions and Finding Meaning&#8221; &#8212; On The Coast Over 55\" data-secret=\"TY0FqK711g\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\/* <![CDATA[ *\/\n\/*! 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