by Sarah Tolmie
OK Boomers! Are you getting your ‘sexy’ on? Forget about a COVID baby boom…what better generation to be having a cuddly cupid COVID than the original generation of the sexual revolution. In fact, the boomer generation is looking younger, feeling younger and acting younger than any generation before them.
And even though I may have not yet joined the ranks of my 55+ readership, I am with you folks, my husband is a baby boomer! And, my single girlfriends have hit a new milestone moment…drumroll…they are now dating men in their 60’s!
So! I know some things. I know things can be pretty hot and steamy out there!
Sex isn’t like a carton of milk that goes sour after a certain date. In fact, sex is more like fine wine – it improves with age.
In fact, a large global popular online dating site did a (USA-based) national survey of sexuality and health among older adults and it showed that most people want and need sex well past 60, and continue to have it often—even well into their 80s.
You can be sexual as long you as want to be. It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with your relationship and the person you are with. Pleasure and intimacy need not change as the years go on.
What may change might be expectations about bodies and sexual expression. As your body slows down, sex can soften and change into more of a slow burn, but it can still be just as hot.
It’s not about how often you have sex and it’s not about how many positions you can be in. It’s really about sexual pleasure and the relationship and connection you have with your partner.
In fact, with age comes experience. A mature lover knows what pleasure feels like or at least has a sense of what it should feel like. A mature lover is often less self-conscious and accepting about theirs AND your body. And a mature lover is more confident in asking for what they want AND what you want too.
When you’re less concerned about your sex stats and stamina and more focused on good communication, you’ll have just as much pleasure and passion as you did when you were young. It may just look different than it used to.
Don’t give up on great sex! Desire never has to die. It may be that you need to give up what you think you know, and open yourself up to having some playful fun again.
Here are 5 simple ways to spice up your sex life after age 50.
- Make time and take your time: Plan for sex. Build up the excitement and anticipation.
- Stay fit and healthy. Your body is the temple for your devotionals. Keep moving. Feed and nourish it well.
- Don’t be afraid of lube. There are many good products.
- Be creative and adventurous. Try a shower together. Massage? Toys?
- And remember, our most erotic organ is our brain. Explore what is each others ‘erotic story’ and create a new story book of love, an erotic language, together.
And most important – for sex at any age and with any partner – be it with your life long lover or a new romance, please, practice safe sex, ensure consent and be mindfully present.
Sarah Tolmie assists people to celebrate, navigate, grow and heal through all their life & love transitions. Her practice focuses on love & relationships, families & children; life success & fulfilment, illness, death & grief. As an Holistic Celebrant Sarah creates profound and meaningful ceremonies for all life & love events. Sarah is also a Marriage Therapist, Bespoke Funeral Director and End-of-Life Consultant. You can visit her website www.sarahtolmie.com.au and Facebook page at Sarah Tolmie – Life & Love.