by jacqui bilson, principal solicitor
Navigating co–parenting arrangements after separation can be challenging for families. However, with the right tools and mindset, creating a stable and supportive environment for your children is possible.
The Importance of Post–Separation Courses
One essential step in this process is participating in a post–separation course. These courses are invaluable for parents as they learn how to help their children adjust to their new living situation and set a strong foundation for cooperative future parenting.
Post–separation courses provide parents with the skills and knowledge needed to manage the emotional and practical challenges of separation. These courses emphasise the importance of focusing on the children’s needs, effective communication strategies, and conflict management techniques. By participating in these courses, parents can gain insights into supporting their children through the transition and working together to create a stable and nurturing environment.
Crafting a Comprehensive Parenting Plan
A well–structured parenting plan is crucial for ensuring that all aspects of a child’s care are addressed and that both parents clearly understand their responsibilities. A parenting order can cover several critical areas, including (but not limited to):
Safety: Ensuring everyone feels safe is the first step. Children thrive when they and their parents feel safe.
Living arrangements: Clearly specify where the child will live.
The schedule: Outline the time a child spends with each parent (take care to ensure the arrangements include specific drop off and pick up times), holidays, and special occasions such as Mothers’/Fathers’ Day. This section may also include provisions for communication, like weekly phone calls.
Hot success tip: stick to the agreement as much as possible and apply as much flexibility as possible for the other parent.
Parental responsibility: Allocate responsibility for decisions about the child’s education, healthcare, and other significant aspects of their life. Hot success tip: transparency is key.
Parental communication: Define the form of communication, including how they will discuss and decide on important issues related to the child. Hot success tip: consider using a parenting communication app.
Travel: Specify limits on destination and duration, and include mandatory notice periods for travel. Be sure to include provision regarding passport applications and who will store the Passport. Note: The International Parental Child Abduction Legal Service provides free legal advice for any parent with concerns regarding abduction or overseas travel.
Child maintenance: A parenting plan can also address the financial support and contributions towards the child’s needs.
Modifying the agreement: Outline a plan for resolving disputes, eg, attending a further mediation. This ensures changes consider the child’s evolving needs or circumstances.
Hot success tip: for high conflict matters, consider a progression approach, for example, have an interim mediation as a starting point and then consider a further mediation in 12 months’ time.
Strategies for Addressing High–Conflict Matters
Several strategies can help manage and mitigate these conflicts in high–conflict situations:
Parent communication apps: Utilise apps to streamline communication and keep it focused on the child’s needs. These apps provide a structured platform for sharing schedules, updates, and important information, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.
Set and respect boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to maintain respectful and effective communication. Parents should agree on interaction guidelines, such as: limiting discussions to child–related matters and avoiding negative or hostile language; speaking positively about each other around the children; permissions around attending each residence; etc.
Mediation services: Seek assistance from a mediator to resolve conflicts. Mediators are trained professionals who can help parents communicate more effectively, address underlying issues, and find mutually agreeable solutions. Many low–cost mediation services are available locally, providing accessible support for families.
Prioritising the child’s needs
A crucial aspect of successful co–parenting is for both parents to prioritise the child’s rights and needs above their own. When parents focus on what is best for their child rather than their parental rights, they are more likely to build a healthier and more cooperative co–parenting relationship. This child–centred approach fosters a positive environment where the child’s wellbeing is paramount.
The level of cooperation in parenting relationships significantly impacts a child’s risk of developing severe mental health issues. When parents collaborate effectively and maintain a harmonious co–parenting relationship, children have a sense of stability and security. Conversely, high levels of parental conflict can lead to increased stress and anxiety for children. Therefore, cooperative parenting is vital for the emotional and psychological wellbeing of the child.
The role of effective communication
Effective communication is the cornerstone of successful childcare arrangements. When parents communicate well, they can address and resolve issues more efficiently, ensuring that their child’s needs remain the primary focus. Conversely, poor or non–existent communication will exacerbate conflict, making reaching agreements difficult. By prioritising open, respectful, and consistent communication, parents can more effectively navigate the complexities of post–separation parenting. This approach benefits the parents and, most importantly, supports the child’s wellbeing and development.
Conclusion
Creating a comprehensive and thoughtful parenting plan is essential for ensuring the wellbeing of children in post–separation families. By participating in post–separation courses, addressing all critical aspects of child care arrangements, and employing strategies to manage high–conflict situations, parents can provide a stable and supportive environment for their children. Effective communication is the key to resolving issues and fostering a cooperative co–parenting relationship, ultimately benefiting the family. The stakes are high, but with the right approach, separated families can be strong families.
For any questions or to set up a Parenting Plan tailored for your family, contact our team at Bilson Law via email at info@bilsonlaw.com.au or call us at (02) 4339 0999 Suite 4, 210 The Entrance Rd Erina NSW Australia 2250 bilsonlaw bilsonlaw.com.au