by Georgia Spencer, Solicitor at Orbell Family Lawyers
As Christmas approaches, the pressures of co–parenting can intensify. Georgia Spencer, Solicitor at Orbell Family Lawyers, provides a practical guide to help separated Australian families navigate this challenging period. Discover effective strategies to handle the complexities of co–parenting during the holidays and make informed decisions that prioritise your children’s wellbeing.
The Christmas season can be an extremely complex and stressful time for separated parents. While the holidays are meant to be a time of joy and togetherness, they can also bring challenges, especially when it comes to deciding how your children will spend their time. For separated families, careful planning and open communication are key to ensuring a stress–free and enjoyable holiday season.
Start planning early
When co–parenting, it’s important to consider what time your children spend with both you and their other parent over special occasions such as birthdays, Easter and Christmas. Having these discussions early can minimise last–minute stress and ensure that both parties and, most importantly, the children have a clear plan in place.
In guiding these discussions, consider the following:
Holiday schedule: Decide where the children will spend their time over the Christmas period. Options might include splitting Christmas Eve and Christmas Day between both parents or alternating who has the children for the entire holiday each year.
A common example might look like this:
- Children spend time with one parent from 3pm Christmas Eve to 3pm Christmas Day;
- Children spend time with the other parent from 3pm Christmas Day to 3pm Boxing Day.
Make–up time: If the children spend less time with one parent over Christmas, consider how you can balance this out with additional time either before or after the holiday.
Negotiation approach: Stay flexible and open to compromise during discussions. If disagreements arise, remember that the focus should always be on what’s best for the children, and not what you or the other parent think you are entitled to.
Whatever arrangement you choose, it’s essential that both parents agree and remain committed to the plan. Civil and respectful negotiations are crucial to ensuring a positive experience for everyone involved, especially the children.
Tailoring your parenting plan to meet your children’s needs
When deciding on Christmas arrangements for your children, consider the specific needs and circumstances of your family. Key factors to think about include:
Children’s ages: Younger children may find it challenging to be away from their primary carer for extended periods of time, while school–age children could ideally be spending time with both parents (absent any risk).
Geographic considerations: The distance between the parents’ homes can impact the feasibility of certain arrangements. For example, if one parent lives a few hours away, consider the impact of travel on the children. In these instances, block periods of time may be more suitable where Christmas is alternated each year.
Family traditions: Consider any longstanding family traditions and how they might be preserved or adapted in the new arrangements.
What if we can’t agree?
If you and your ex–partner are unable to reach an agreement on Christmas arrangements, it’s important to act quickly. The rules requires any parent wanting to make an application for interim parenting orders for the end–of–year school holiday period to do so no later than 4pm on the second Friday in November.
However, before applying to the Court, you will need to ensure you have made a ‘genuine effort’ to resolve your dispute. Family Law in Australia permits you to ensure you follow a checklist of pre–action procedures, which includes attending dispute resolution (mediation) and issuing the other parent with notice of your intention to commence proceedings (there are exceptions).
Practical tips for a peaceful holiday season
To make the Christmas season as smooth as possible, consider the following tips:
DO:
- Begin discussions with your ex–partner about holiday plans as early as possible.
- Stick to any existing Parenting Plans or Consent Orders (if applicable) to avoid disputes.
- If you haven’t already, consider formalising your parenting arrangements into a Parenting Plan or Consent Order to provide clarity and avoid misunderstandings.
- Be flexible and open with your ex–partner to compromise, always keeping the children’s happiness and best interests at the forefront of your discussions.
- Seek legal advice if you need help navigating the complexities of post–separation parenting.
DON’T:
- Make holiday plans involving your children without discussing them with the other parent.
- Change agreed–upon arrangements at the last minute unless both parents consent.
- Speak negatively about the other parent in front of your children or probe them about who they would rather spend time with over the Christmas period.
- Relocate with your children without the other parent’s consent or a Court Order.
Looking ahead to a joyful Christmas
With Christmas just around the corner, start having these discussions now. By taking these steps, you can ensure that your children enjoy a festive season full of love, warmth, and cherished memories, no matter the circumstances.
If you find that reaching an agreement with your ex–partner is proving difficult, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance. A family lawyer can provide advice tailored to your situation and help you navigate the complexities of co–parenting during the holidays.
If you would like further information regarding this article or your family law matter in general, please contact us.
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