By Sheree Orbell, Solicitor/Director and Mia Eddy, Paralegal at Orbell Family Lawyers
The back–to–school period can be busy for any family, with new shoes, booklists, and early mornings. However, for separated parents, this time of year often brings an added layer of planning, communication, and coordination.
With thoughtful preparation and a child–focused mindset, the return to school can be smooth and positive for everyone involved.
Sheree Orbell, Solicitor Director and Mia Eddy, Paralegal, at Orbell Family Lawyers, share practical tips to help separated parents navigate this season with cooperation, clarity, and care.
Who buys what?
One of the biggest questions separated parents face is who pays for what. Uniforms, laptops, school shoes, and excursions can quickly add up, and without clear communication, disagreements can follow.
If you have a Child Support Agreement, Parenting Orders or a Parenting Plan, these documents may already outline how school costs are shared. They can include:
- Expense–sharing arrangements (for example, splitting costs 50/50 or assigning responsibility for certain items such as uniforms or textbooks).
- Communication guidelines for how and when to discuss financial matters.
- Agreed budgets or price ranges for major purchases.
- Timeframes for reimbursement, so one parent isn’t left out of pocket.
Using a child support agreement
In some cases, parents prefer more formal arrangements that remove the need to negotiate school expenses every year.
A Child Support Agreement, which can be registered with Services Australia, allows parents to set out clearly who pays for what, including back–to–school items and extracurricular expenses such as sport, music, or tutoring.
The benefits of these agreements include certainty, predictability, and less potential for conflict. Both parents must agree to enter into the arrangement, and legal advice is necessary. Orbell Family Lawyers can assist with drafting these documents
to ensure they are fair, practical, and enforceable.
Where no formal arrangement exists, financial discussions often rely on goodwill and flexibility. To avoid misunderstandings:
- Discuss school costs early.
- Create a shared list of expected expenses.
- Use apps or spreadsheets to track contributions.
- Keep the focus on the children’s needs, rather than what feels most “fair” to each parent.
If communication becomes difficult, mediation or family dispute resolution can help reach an agreement without unnecessary stress.
Coordinating changeovers
Many separated families use school as a natural point of changeover between homes. One parent might drop the children off in the morning, with the other collecting them in the afternoon. This can minimise disruption for the children and reduce tension between parents.
To keep things running smoothly:
- Stick to agreed times and locations
- Make sure children have everything they need for school and activities
- Keep communication polite and focused on logistics
Consistency helps children feel secure and supported, especially at the start of a new school year.
Keeping schools in the loop
Schools play a key role in supporting children, but they can only do so effectively when they understand the family’s situation.
To ensure things run smoothly:
- Keep both parents’ contact details up to date.
- Ask that newsletters, reports, and notices are sent to both parents.
- Clarify who can make educational decisions and sign permission forms.
- Let the school know who is authorised to collect the child.
Most schools are familiar with shared parenting arrangements and have systems to support dual households. Open communication with the school helps avoid confusion and ensures children are supported equally by both homes.
Communication is key
Good communication is at the heart of effective co–parenting. During the busy back–to–school period, it helps prevent forgotten items, double purchases, or crossed wires.
Avoid using children as messengers as this can cause anxiety and emotional strain. Instead, use co–parenting apps or shared online calendars to manage schedules, reminders, and events.
Aim for communication that is respectful, child–focused, and practical.
When co–parenting isn’t safe
While these strategies work well for many families, there are situations where open communication or shared decision making may not be safe or appropriate.
If there has been family violence, coercive control, or significant conflict, it may not be in the best interests of the child, or either parent, to follow the approaches outlined here. In such circumstances, safety must always come first.
Legal advice, support services, and professional guidance can help you make safe, child–focused decisions that respect your circumstances.
Putting the children first
School life rarely fits neatly into “my time” or “your time.” Children need consistency, encouragement, and understanding, especially when adjusting to new teachers, subjects, or routines.
Parents can support their children by asking:
- What helps them feel organised and calm?
- Are they getting enough rest, reassurance, and support?
- How can both parents stay involved in their school life?
- Sometimes what’s best for the children may not be the most convenient for either parent. Flexibility, empathy, and cooperation make all the difference.
Turning preparation into partnership
Back–to–school season doesn’t have to be stressful. With clear planning, good communication, and a shared focus on the children’s wellbeing, parents can make this time an opportunity to work together and build positive routines.
If Parenting Orders, a Parenting Plan, or a Child Support Agreement are in place, ensure they are followed and reviewed regularly. The focus should always remain on helping the children feel safe, supported, and ready to learn.
(02) 4314 6080 | www.orbellfamilylawyers.com.au | info@orbellfamilylawyers.com.au
Liability limited by a scheme approved under Professional Standards Legislation. The information contained in this article is for general information only and should not be construed as legal advice.