By Alyssa Said, Redwood Wellbeing
Why do some kids seem to think about sweets all the time, while others hardly give them a second thought? This difference often comes down to something called a ‘sweet food preoccupation’.
When we say a child is preoccupied with sweet food, we mean they’re thinking about it a lot, asking for it often, or having big emotional reactions when it’s around or taken away. It’s like sweets are taking up too much space in their mind.
But it’s not black and white. We all sit somewhere along the continuum of sweet food preoccupation:
- At one end is neutrality (sweets are no big deal).
- In the middle is mild interest (very normal – most kids love sweet food!).
- At the far end is fixation or obsession, where sweets feel like the most important thing.
Kids can move along this spectrum depending on their environment, emotions, or what’s happening around them.
So what’s a healthy goal?
We’re not aiming for kids to not like sweet food – that’s not realistic or even helpful. Sweets can bring joy, fun, celebration, and connection. The goal is to support a relationship with sweet food that’s calm, flexible, and guilt–free – not driven by anxiety, urgency, or secrecy.
It’s developmentally typical for kids to love sweets and ask for them often. They might get excited about dessert, talk about chocolate a lot, or choose sweet foods when given the option. That’s okay and expected.
However, if sweets start to dominate your child’s focus or affect their behaviour, you may notice they are;
- Frequently sneaking or hiding sweets.
- Getting very upset when treats are limited.
- Seeming unable to stop eating sweets, even when full.
- Constantly talking about lollies or comparing with peers.
- Lying or hoarding treats.
In these cases, sweets are no longer just enjoyable – they’ve become emotionally loaded or symbolic of comfort, reward, or rebellion.
Research suggests that genetics somewhat influence our preference for sweet foods, and that babies are born with an innate inclination toward sweetness. This preference is tied to specific taste receptors that are present from birth. These receptors, part of the body’s sensory system, allow infants to more easily detect and respond positively to sugary tastes which come from energy–rich foods.
Genetics may give a child the potential to be more drawn to sweets, but it’s the environment (how sweets are talked about, offered, and experienced) that shapes what kind of sweet food relationship they develop.
Think of it this way:
Genes = the wiring
Environment = the programming
Even with a genetic tendency, a child’s sweet food preoccupation is heavily shaped by what’s happening around them. Some key environmental triggers include:
Making sweets seem “forbidden” or “special”
Comments like “sugar is bad” or “you can only have dessert if you finish dinner” make sweets seem rare or powerful – which makes kids want them even more.
Using sweets as a reward
Linking sweets to “earning” or “deserving” teaches kids that treats are the best food and everything else is just a chore.
Comforting with sweet food
Offering lollies or ice cream to soothe an upset child can teach them to use food to deal with emotions rather than learning other coping tools.
Sweets as a love language
When treats become a symbol of love (“I brought you donuts because I love you”), kids can connect sweet food with feeling valued or accepted.
Over–restricting sweets
Trying to keep all sugar out of the house can backfire. Kids often become more curious, eat in secret, or overdo it when they finally get access.
Parental modelling
If adults are sneaking sweets, talking about being “bad,” or showing guilt around treats, kids absorb those messages and start to mirror them.
Inconsistency/food drama
Constant changes in rules, food battles, or emotional reactions around sweets create anxiety and confusion for kids, which can increase fixation.
The bottom line…
Kids are naturally wired to love sweet food. That’s okay. What matters most is how we handle it. When sweets are restricted, moralised, or over–emphasised, kids become preoccupied. But when sweets are part of everyday life, offered without drama, and surrounded by trust, most children settle into a calmer, more balanced relationship with food over time.
Alyssa Said – founder of Redwood Wellbeing, is a mother of two, a high school PDHPE teacher, and as a certified body image and food relationship counsellor. Alyssa coaches women with poor body image and disordered eating patterns and equips parents to support their child’s body confidence and balanced approaches to eating.