By Alita Blanchard, Nervous System–Informed Parent Counsellor
We can all feel like we’re drowning and at our wits–end at times in parenting – sometimes it’s a tough season, but other times, it runs deeper.
Perhaps:
- You have a highly sensitive nervous system – everyday sounds, smells, movements and touch overwhelm you. You feel everything emotionally and physically.
- You’re overstimulated – rage feels like the only release.
- You’re in the trenches of sleep deprivation – your body and brain are desperate for rest.
- You’re carrying generations of unspoken pain – with no space to breathe or feel.
- You’re unsupported – there’s no village around you.
- No one ever modelled healthy emotional regulation – and now you’re parenting without a roadmap.
- You might be neurodivergent (ADHD, autistic, sensory sensitive) — and not know it yet, or you do know, but there’s no support.
- Your hormones are haywire – your nutrients depleted, your mental health quietly suffering.
- Your child has complex needs and you whisper, “Why can’t they just be less… difficult?”
This is the heavy weight that many mothers carry and the absence of feeling safe, seen and soothed.
So what can you do? Start here.
Name What’s Real
Say it out loud:
“I feel overstimulated.”
“I feel angry.”
“I feel so alone.”
Naming your experience turns on the thinking brain (your prefrontal cortex), giving you a sliver of space between you and the overwhelm. That space is where you can start to access support, even if it’s only from yourself right now.
Name What You Need
Unmet needs pile up fast in motherhood.
Here are just a few basics to aim to priortise:
Rest and sleep – (hard for many I know, focus on sleep hygiene). i.e. habits and environmental factors that promote sleep, for example, a clutter–free room or no phones before bed.
Time alone – even pockets of silence at lights off, all screens off and being still
Nutritious food – (especially protein and minerals)
Drink – a lot more water and herbal tea
Safe social connections – envision safe people around you
Creative expression and pockets of joy – music, sunshine, autumn leaves, dance in the kitchen
Movement – a walk around the block in the evening. Slow rambles with your kids.
Validation – we all need at least one person in our world who is willing to listen to our hard parts. Counsellor, therapist, mentor, safe friend.
Pick one thing – just one – to support today.
Examples:
- Lay on the grass and watch clouds for 5 minutes.
- Play a song that lights something up inside you.
- Text a safe friend: “Do you have 10 minutes to listen?”.
- Add protein to your breakfast.
- Walk around the block.
- Book an appointment for you – not your child.
- Buy some magnesium salts and aim for one big soak bath a week
This is emotional first aid. These are micro–moments that matter.
Support Your Nervous System Daily
You don’t need a healing retreat to begin. You just need small, consistent care.
Try:
Orienting everyday – Look around the room you are in. Notice the light, the colours, the details. Find one beautiful or neutral thing. Let your eyes rest there. Moving your neck and eye muscles sends a signal of safety to your nervous system.
Physiological sigh – Inhale through your nose. Take another short sip of air. Then exhale fully through your mouth. Repeat a few times.
Notice your breath – No need to change it. Just feel it. This anchors you in now.
These small practices tell your body, I’m safe enough to soften a little. These are key nervous system practices and daily and with repetition they slowly rewire your brain for more safety.
Other options to explore:
Tapping (EFT) – try YouTube for beginner routines.
Journalspeak – Write your raw truth for 10 minutes, then delete it. It’s for release, not re–reading.
Insight Timer app – Free meditations, visualisations, and breathing tools.
Get to Know Your Sensory System
If you’re deeply affected by sounds, smells, textures, or chaos, your nervous system might be crying out for sensory regulation. What soothes you?
Try:
- Weighted blanket or deep pressure.
- Calming music or binaural beats.
- Hot drinks/cold icy drinks and sensory snacks, i.e. textured, crunchy or chewy.
- Essential oils like lavender or bergamot.
- Tight cuddles, self hold practice or a gentle foot massage
- Retreating to a quiet, soft space when possible
- Create one sensory–friendly corner at home just for you – a chair, blanket, low light, scent. This is your haven.
Rewire the Stories That Hurt You
Many of our painful emotions come from deeper stories like:
- “I’m a bad mum because I lost it again.”
- “I should be able to handle this.”
- “Everyone else is doing better than me.”
Try this powerful practice from Byron Katie’s The Work:
- Is it true?
- Can I absolutely know it’s true?
- How do I react when I believe that thought?
- Who would I be without that thought?
Turn the thought around:
- “I’m a bad mum” – “I’m a mum doing her best in impossible conditions.”
- Let that become your truth.
Or try Journalspeak:
- “I’m so tired of pretending that…”
- “If I let myself feel my anger, I’m afraid that…”
- “The part of me that feels [emotion] believes…”
Let the hidden, hurt parts of you speak. That’s how healing begins.
Soften with Self–Compassion
You don’t need to be “better.” You need to feel held – mostly by yourself. Practice building a loving inner voice – a gentle inner mother and father. One who says:
“You are tired. You are doing your best. Let’s just take one small step.”
Over time, this voice becomes your anchor in the chaos.
Remember This
You are not lazy, broken, dramatic, or failing. You are a mother with feelings, needs, and a body that can’t do everything.
Start where you are.
Pick one practice.
Take one breath.
Name one need.
Let that be enough today.
You are worthy of emotional first aid — every single day.
Visit the theawaremama.com.au and sign up to Aware Mama news to a free eBook on Radical Self Care tips.
Alita Blanchard, The Aware Mama – Based on the NSW Central Coast, Alita is a mother of 4 boys, Holistic Counsellor, Nervous system informed Parent Coach and Emotional Release practitioner. She holds regular mothers circles, online programs and offers 1;1 support for overwhelmed parents.
@alitablanchard_ | hello@theawaremama.com.au | www.theawaremama.com.au