by selina chapman, Psychologist
When I found out I was pregnant with twins it was like winning the lottery. I was an older first–time mother. I had hoped for a two–for–one special and couldn’t believe my luck when it came true.
Despite my initial joy, a twin pregnancy, especially when it is within the ‘geriatric’ maternal age, does come with added risks and complications. There are increased risks associated with carrying any pregnancy in an older body, stretch marks withstanding, such as maternal gestational diabetes, post natal anxiety and/or depression and a greater risk of a chromosomal disorder.
Every pregnancy and parenting experience is unique and one’s own journey. This article is about connecting with prospective and existing parents of multiples, to encourage and support accessing mental health supports and resources along the way.
According to the Australian Multiple Birth Association’s (AMBA) report published in March 2024, “Multiples Unfiltered. The untold stories of Australian mothers surviving the early years with multiples”; of all pregnancies in Australia 1.4% result in a multiple pregnancy of which 98% are twins and 2% are triplets or higher order multiples.
Twin Research Australia reports the rate of “twinning” is about 1 in 80 pregnancies, so 1 in every 40 Australians are a twin. Some famous twins include Lisa and Jessica Origliasso also known as The Veronicas, Ashton Kutcher, and Scarlett Johansson.
Did you know that there are more than two types of twins? We are more familiar with identical (monozygotic or one egg) and fraternal (dizygotic or two egg) twins however there are also conjoined twins, mirror image twins and chimera twins. How twins develop in the womb also dictate variants on the type of twin they are. Another interesting fact is that identical twins are not 100% genetically the same, and their genetic similarity percentage can vary between monozygotic twins.
I acknowledge that not all twin or higher order births are welcomed and even if they are, it can come as quite a shock. We question what we are capable of, if we can meet the challenges ahead. Rates of post natal anxiety and depression for all parents (including males) increases with multiples. Taking care of our mental wellbeing before and after pregnancy is very important.
The needs of prospective parents, medically and holistically, are going to be different so specialised support from medical and allied health professionals are highly recommended to get that tailored and appropriate pre–natal and post natal care for all parents. This can include pre natal classes, books to read, sleep support, childcare or parenting support. It is important to say yes to helpful offers, know your limits and to reach out when you need it.
The most important piece of information that I wish to share is that we can all learn to be a parent of multiples and work it out in a way that suits your family. Yes, it is challenging, rewarding, difficult, enjoyable, chaotic and beautiful, and achievable.
Some challenges that a lot of multiple parents face is that our world becomes more isolated than with singletons. Many days I would be stuck at home, too tired to leave or repack nappy bags and change clothes and feed two babies again so I would give up and stay at home. Sometimes friends stop calling to “not bother” or “wake the babies”, which adds to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
The twin experiences of each other are special and different from singletons. There is a bond that needs to be considered for individual and collective wellbeing. For example, when all else failed, and I couldn’t settle one of the babies, I would put them together and it was their twin that charmed them into sleep or a state of calm.
I had my own personal fears and concerns like getting them mixed up, not being able to breastfeed, listening to other people’s opinions and comments and not trusting my support system and my own instincts.
At these moments this is when you might want the shared or lived experience from other parents and/or professionals.
For psychological wellbeing, the most successful approach is one that is flexible and responsive to any expectations to how you want to raise your multiples. You do what you can, when you can. Sometimes this means making do or changing what is needed to make life easier and more practical. We all make mistakes, and we can learn, adapt and thrive.
Personally, I feel lucky to be in the Twin Club with all its hardships and joys. My twins have a playmate (or frenemy) for life and watching them grow together is beautiful.
For helpful resources please visit:
Australian Multiple Birth Association: www.amba.org.au
Twin Research Australia: www.twins.org.au
Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia: www.panda.org.au
Loss of a baby in a multiple pregnancy: www.neonatalbutterflyproject.org
Selina Chapman is a mum of twin boys and a psychologist at The Hearts and Mind Collective in Wyoming. She works with individuals of all ages seeking empowerment and support. Selina says, “Seeking support for mental health is about maintaining emotional and mental wellbeing as well as having extra help as and when we need it”.