by selina chapman, psychologist
It’s the end of the year where we might reflect on the events from the past twelve months and wonder where the time went. It can be a stressful time with family events coming up. It can be a time for renewal and the prospect of meaningful change in the new year. Whatever it is for you, we all need to feel hopeful especially when we may fear hope has been lost or misplaced.
What happens when we have lost that connection with hope?
Remembering that we are all flawed beautiful humans, and our bodies, minds, hearts and souls are intertwined with each other, also means the impact of stress manifests in all the ways our bodies functions and operate biologically, emotionally, rationally and psychologically.
Being aware of our needs and values, insight into our relationship with ourselves is a great place to start. What if we don’t have those answers? What if this is something we haven’t considered before? These questions may be basic and well–known or may be a new, unexplored world. In any case, if there is a desire to gain that insight and connection with who we are, we can always begin that journey at any time.
Self–exploration and discovery, much like travelling to a new place can be daunting and overwhelming, especially if we don’t have a map. There are a lot of fantastic resources available to help navigate, improve, reconnect and explore our relationships with ourselves and find our hope, happiness and health. Finding the right one might require trial and error to find a good fit.
According to Charles Snyder, a positive psychologist, hope is connected to improved success, increased health benefits and overall happiness. Snyder’s original research and the development of the Hope Theory has inspired and instigated a plethora of research over the past three decades expanding on our knowledge and understanding of how hope is a necessary part of a healthy and happy life.
As Snyder states, hope has two parts: a cognitive mental part and an emotional part. Within these parts are three base areas in which we can start building our individually tailored map. Two key principles that will assist success are knowing the goal(s) and our abilities to travel our path.
Know your goals
This can be a challenging quest, depending on what has been achieved before. To explore or reflect on developing or changing our goals to suit requires time and energy.
Idea: If this is more challenging try connecting with what you value. Do you have someone you admire and respect? What about them has attracted you to them. These role models can be known to you or even a celebrity.
Tip: Consider your likes and preferences which can guide your values and goals. The trick is knowing the difference between the unhelpful dysfunctional habits or beliefs and the healthy ones.
Have meaningful strategies to achieve those goals
Strategies can be altered, adapted and changed to suit your needs, so having flexible thinking when considering your pathway needs to be realistic and inclusive.
Idea: Multiple strategies are more useful than having too little options. Consider the different pathways that might be possible to reach the same goal. These can include trying new things, asking a friend or trusted person for advice, or maybe re–establishing routines that worked in the past.
Tip: S.M.A.R.T. goals are a great structure to help achieve success. Does your goal fit into this structure? If not, it may need editing.
Specific – include as much detail as possible.
Measurable and Meaningful – How will you know when you have achieved your goal? Ensure that your goals are for your own wellbeing and not only for the sake of others.
Achievable – Do we have the resources i.e. time, energy, knowledge, or money to make these goals happen.
Realistic – Obeying the laws of physics and reality, are the goals within my potential and reach?
Timeframe – When will we start acting on our goals? How long might we need to reach completion?
Have the motivation and desire to actively work towards those goals daily
There will always be barriers and challenges in the way. Our past can help or hinder this process. It is as important to know what we need to overcome as well as knowing how to pursue our dreams.
Idea: Reaching out for professional supports such as mental health professionals is a common part of the process. Supporting our mental health is as much about improvement and maintaining mental wellbeing as it is to provide support when we are struggling.
Tip: Routines are important. If you need to sort the basics of sleep, diet and exercise perhaps consider that a goal too. We all need a good strong foundation on which to build from.
Wishing you hope, happiness and health
6/31 Dwyer Street, North Gosford, NSW 2250 | Phone: (02) 4327 9435 | admin@heartandmindcollective.com.au | theheartandmindcollective.com.au
Selina Chapman is a psychologist at The Heart and Mind Collective in North Gosford, who works with individuals of all ages seeking empowerment and support. Selina says, “Seeking support for mental health can be about maintaining wellness as well as having extra help as and when we need it”.