By Louise Hurley
In a world that bombards our children with unrealistic beauty standards and distorted perceptions of what a healthy body actually is, it’s crucial that we, as parents, play a pivotal role in helping our little ones build body image resilience. From the language we use to the examples we set, we contribute to shaping our children’s perception of themselves, their body and the world around them. Here’s my comprehensive guide for fostering body image resilience in your children.
Mind your language
a) Be mindful of the language you use about your own body.
Allowing your children to hear you say that you “hate your cellulite” or “hate your thighs” or that you “need to lose weight to get rid of your tummy” is going to teach them that having cellulite, rolls, big thighs and a big tummy are something bad and needs fixing. In reality, these are all parts of a normal body, a healthy body looks very different from person to person.
b) Reframe the language you use around food.
Avoid attaching moral labels like “I’m being good” when you eat salad or “I’ll be naughty” when you have chocolate. Food is food, it has no moral value.
c) Steer clear of demonising or glorifying specific foods.
Instead, teach your children that food is on a spectrum that ranges from very nutritious to less nutritious, rather than having a label of good and bad or healthy and unhealthy. A bag of chippies are not a bad food when they’re part of a diet that mostly contains quality protein, starchy carbs, healthy fats, fruit, veg and plenty of water.
d) Refrain from commenting on the size of your child’s body and instead focus on what their amazing body does for them, like swim, run fast, dance, etc.
If your child needs motivation to move more, then focus on the benefits of movement like getting stronger and faster, rather than changing the way their body looks. Recent research has shown the impact of such comments on body size, creating unnecessary pressure and fostering body dissatisfaction later in adolescence and adulthood (Berge, et. al. 2014; Dahill, et. al. 2021).
Be a positive role model
Children observe and absorb everything around them, especially from their parents. If you constantly engage in diets or use exercise as a way to burn off the food you’ve consumed, your child may develop the same tendencies. Embrace a positive attitude towards your own body and demonstrate healthy habits rather than restrictive behaviours.
Define healthy
Educate your children on what it truly means to be healthy. Move beyond the narrow concept of “skinny” and highlight factors like normal blood pressure, cholesterol levels, good heart health, mental wellbeing, sound sleep patterns, and overall healthy bodily functions. This holistic approach fosters a positive view of health that goes beyond physical appearance.
Curate social media exposure
The impact of social media on body image cannot be overstated. Be vigilant about what your child consumes online. Guide them in curating a feed that promotes body positivity and diverse representations of a healthy body. Encourage open discussions about the unrealistic standards often perpetuated on social media platforms.
Educate about media realities
Equip your child with the critical skills to analyse media messages. Discuss the prevalence of filters, AI images, edited photos, and misleading before and after pictures. Teach them to question the authenticity of images and understand that beauty comes in various forms, unaltered and unfiltered.
Lead by example
Demonstrate a healthy relationship with your body through your actions. Exercise and nourish your body for overall health rather than solely focusing on changing its size or shape. Emphasise the importance of self–care and self–love, cultivating a positive environment for your child to learn from.
To sum it up, this part of parenting is HARD, but building body image resilience in our children is vital and is a continuous process that requires intentionality in our language, behaviour and their environment. We can shape our children’s perceptions by fostering open communication, setting positive examples, and promoting a holistic understanding of health and beauty. By implementing these practices, we can empower not only our children, but also ourselves, to navigate the complexities of body image with confidence and resilience.
Louise Hurley, owner of Strong Mums and the Body Resilient Mum podcast is on a mission to help mums to return to exercise safely and realise that they are so much more than what their post–baby body looks like, at any stage of motherhood.
Find out more at www.strongmums.com